Compassion + Action for Trauma Responses
Making sense of the body’s signals and bids for safety
If you’ve ever wondered why your body reacts before your mind can catch up, you're not alone. Maybe you feel a sudden tightness in your chest, racing thoughts, or an urge to shut down or lash out at someone you love. Trauma doesn’t just live in memories, it lives in the nervous system, in the subtle ways your body perceives danger and tries to keep you safe.
What we often label as “anxiety,” “overreaction,” or “avoidance” is frequently the body saying, “I remember what danger felt like, and I’m trying to protect us.”
How the Body Carries the Story
Our nervous system is built for survival. When we experience something overwhelming, our body stores that memory as sensation, tension, and patterns of vigilance.
That might look like:
Snapping at someone you love for something small
Avoiding situations that echo past experiences
Feeling foggy or disconnected when you’re stressed
Having intrusive or disturbing thoughts about something you’ve lived through
Struggling to rest, even when you're exhausted
It’s easy to get caught up in feelings of guilt, shame, or failure when we fall into these patterns.
It hurts to notice ourselves reacting from a place of pain,
and if there was a “re-do” button in those moments, I bet you’d take it.
Instead of beating yourself up, I want you to remember this: these responses are your body’s best attempt to keep you safe based on what you’ve been through. And over time, you can guide and redirect these bids for safety in ways that bring you closer to yourself and the people you care about.
Hope in Action
Here’s more good news: what’s been learned can be unlearned (thanks, neuroplasticity!)
What to do when you’re in a trauma response:
1) Name the feeling.
Try, “A part of me is feeling scared,” or “A part of me wants to shut down.”
This gently redirects activity from the amygdala (our threat detector) back toward the prefrontal cortex (our reasoning center), helping you fire and wire more adaptive pathways.
2) Take slow, deep breaths.
Diaphragmatic “belly breathing” signals to the nervous system that you’re not in danger and supports the brain in grounding and regulation.
3) Move your body.
Movement helps metabolize cortisol (the stress hormone that rushes through us in moments of activation) and supports dopamine release. Push against a wall, climb stairs, jump in place, or take a brisk walk. Even brief movement can shift your internal state.
What Safety Can Feel Like
Many of us know the deep relief that comes from feeling truly seen by someone who cares. That’s the kind of safety you can begin to offer yourself. Through compassion, supportive relationships, and moments of calm, your nervous system can slowly remember what safety feels like.
Over time, your hypervigilant parts can learn that safety can be found in connection (with a therapist, a partner, a trusted friend) and not only in solitude. Closeness doesn’t have to equal danger, and you are not “too much” for the people who are safe for you.
A Gentle Reminder
When we start to see our reactive moments for what they are, the body reaching for safety, something softens. Judgment gives way to compassion. Space opens for reflection and repair. New neural pathways strengthen, and trust begins to rebuild, both within ourselves and in our relationships.
Therapy can be an amazing place to start this reflective work. Just by reaching out, you're breaking the cycle of aloneness, sending a gentle message to your nervous system that this was never mean to be a solo journey.
Here’s to doing this together, and gentler ways forward.